This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He kissed a someone with a penis
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize