You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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