Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
