I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
