He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
