What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
