Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
