I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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