no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's on the porch naked. Help.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
