I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
