you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
