That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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