you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
