It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
