Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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