My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
