dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
