first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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