sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
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i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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