For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
