Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
