my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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