3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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