My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize