Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
