goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
