He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
