Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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