someone get that fucking seahorse.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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