If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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