So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
