So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
