That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
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apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
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Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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