But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
