It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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