u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
