I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Drunk is a universal language darling
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