OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
