In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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