I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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