ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
