And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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