i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
