Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
