For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
