dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
