he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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