Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
