at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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