So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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