Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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