I will die if light touches me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
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She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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