I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
