I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
