i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Alive.
So much puke
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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