I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
