Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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