ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
