Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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