if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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