I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
