YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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