I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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