he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
