Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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